July 18th, 2006

Global Warming Makes the World Go ‘Round


Think that global warming is a big hoax? Think again! Just check out all of the things caused by global warming!

Dermatitis, malaria, sex change, Mt. Everest shrinking, world bankruptcy, people drowning, civil unrest—all caused by global warming! Ahhhh! The sky is falling!

Want to solve global warming? Don’t have seven bucks to go see Gore’s new flick? You can help!

That’s right! In two days from now, YOU can help solve global warming by waking up at the buttcrack of dawn to jump! At 4:39 a.m. Utah time on July 20, wake up and jump! A German scientist hopes that by so doing, we’ll fix global warming! Sweet!

Seriously folks, I do realize that a 0.006 degree C shift in temperature per year will have an adverse affect on our world as a whole. :::cough, cough::: But buying a Prius and biking to work isn’t going to change squat when you’ve got China consuming more and more coal at alarmingly increasing rates, ignoring the Kyoto treaty (as is everybody else).

We need efficient alternatives. We need independence from oil. We need… nuclear power. Don’t tell me that Chernobyl is indicative of the fact that we can’t safely use nuclear energy. The Soviets didn’t get much of anything right, including nuclear power. We’re smart. We’re technologically advanced. We’ve got the resources. We just need our politicians to pull their heads out of the butts of their oil-dependent financial contributors (those who really wield power in our government) and take a step in the right direction.

One Response to “Global Warming Makes the World Go ‘Round”

  1. the narrator
    July 18, 2006 at 10:26 pm #

    You obviously haven’t seen An Inconvenient Truth nor have you apparently read up on much of the recent studies. While you are right that individuals really can’t make a difference and that changes need to take place on a national level, mocking it doesn’t do any good. While China’s coal burning stations are a problem, they are at least doing something about it. Furthermore, Americans contribute more to global warming per person than any other persons in the world.

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