September 10th, 2006

Girlspeak to English Dictionary

Found on this page:

She says                               English 
---------                             ------- 
We need                               I want
It's your decision                    The correct decision should be
                                        obvious by now
Do what you want                      You'll pay for this later 
We need to talk                       I need to complain 
Sure...go ahead                       I don't want you to.
I'm not upset                         Of course I'm upset, you moron. 
You' manly                     You need a shave and you sweat
                                        a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.    Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional!  And I'm not       I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights.     I have flabby thighs. 
This kitchen is so inconvenient.      I want a new house.
I want new curtains                   and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there                No, I mean hang it there! 
I heard a noise                       I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?                       I'm going to ask for something
How much do you love me?              I did something today you're
                                        really not going to like...
I'll be ready in a minute.            Kick off your shoes and find a
                                        good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?                       Tell me I'm beautiful. 
You have to learn to communicate.     Just agree with me. 
Are you listening to me!?             [Too late, your dead.] 
Yes                                   No
No                                    No 
Maybe                                 No
I'm sorry.                            You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?              It's easy to fix, so you'd
                                        better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling!                      Yes I am yelling because I
                                        think this is important.
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
The same old thing.                   Nothing. 
Nothing.                              Everything.
Everything.                           My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really.                      It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it.        Go away, I'm still building up
                                        evidence against you.

3 Responses to “Girlspeak to English Dictionary”

  1. steven
    September 11, 2006 at 6:34 pm #

    This about says it all Connor. I could have written this, but alas I did not.

  2. Spencer J
    September 11, 2006 at 10:16 pm #

    That was freakin good. Me likey!!

  3. Vanessa
    September 14, 2006 at 10:36 am #

    Take Notes Connor! 😉

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